Watch him learn & grow

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Dude, no way!

Since we’ve been back from our trip, we’ve had some, eh, challenges on the sleep front. First night was so-so, the second night involved all of us being awake from 1am to 5am. It was taking for-ev-er for him to fall asleep, and our tradition has been to stay in the room with him until he does fall asleep. We were doing that under the mistaken assumption that, since this was all he has ever known, we should at least continue staying with him till sleep comes. All the other changes we’ve thrown at him, we thought this was vital to him.

Ha! Idiots.

Last night he was just running and running and running, resisting sleep despite being obviously exhausted — not upset or crying, but just bouncing off the walls. We were getting more and more frustrated with being “stuck” in his room for hours, so out of desperation, last night Seth just said, “Daddy’s going to leave now. Night-night.” I sat on the couch, watching the baby monitor with terror. He never cried. He did call for us in a nervous voice for a minute or two, asking us to come put on the covers (though we had earlier detected the covers trick was just a ruse), but within another minute or two we heard him just puttering around in there. By 15 minutes, we heard him lightly snoring.

Tonight, we decided to experiment with forgoing the whole “sit with him after stories & rocking thing”. So, I read him some stories, rocked and cuddled him for about 5 minutes, then told him it was time to go to sleep. He protested and whined, but when I laid him in his bed he willingly rolled onto his side and asked for the covers. We said “night-night” and left the room… and now it’s been about 30 minutes, and not. a. single. peep.

Why the heck didn’t we try this about 5 million years ago?? It just shows how little faith we had in our own child’s resilience.

Well, since I’ve been given an unexpected bit of time tonight, I’m off to do some dishes. Yea!

Oh, and some pictures of our fun evening:

Playing with flour & sugar in the living room (despite the sheet, not the brightest idea, but we’re TIRED of being cooped up inside!)

Seth always does this funny thing with his tongue between his lips when he’s really concentratingon something. You can kind of see it on Grayson here.

The Aftermath, and the willing vacuum helper

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Last Thursday, Seth and I flew from Chicago to Palm Springs, California, then we met some of Ed & Lillian’s friends in Desert Hot Springs, picked up their minivan, and proceeded to drive it all the way back to Illinois. On Thursday we were on the road or in the air from 7am until midnight. Whew! It was nice to spend a little time together without a monkey, but we sure missed Grayson. He stayed with Grandma Becky and Papa Rick while we were gone, and was a very good boy! He even slept in his own bed for 2 of the nights!

Sometime while we were gone, Grayson started saying “Nope” instead of “No”. It’s pretty cute, although we could still use a little less of the “nope” sentiment… as any parent of a toddler probably could. On our first night back, I was sleeping on the mattress on the floor of Grayson’s room, and at one point in the middle of the night, Grayson sat up in bed and said, “Whoa, dude!” then laid back down. Hmmm… I am starting to become more and more aware that I talk like a child of the 80’s, and now my son does, too.

Here are some new pictures; click on them to enlarge, or to see more photos from the set:

The view as we got off the plane in Palm Springs. Gorgeous!

Feeding time at the McCanse zoo. Mouth full of carrots, then Daddy feeding Grayson applesauce. By the way, if you love us, send applesauce!

The two boys playing around, being “cool dudes” with sunglasses

Video - dark as usual, for some reason, or because we keep our house like a lair of darkness

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A few months ago, Grayson took great fun in doing exaggerated mock-sneezes — really getting into the windup: Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah CHOO!

Yesterday on our way home, he coughed a little, then said in this really funny voice, “Bless you, Grayson!” And now every time he coughs or sneezes (which is a lot lately), he says the same thing.

We have passed one whole week with him sleeping in his own bed in his own room. He really seems to have adapted very well, and even seems more mature, somehow. I took him to Rockford with me on Sunday and we managed to sit nicely in Chipotle for 30 whole minutes (with him buckled in a baby seat, no less!) and then spent a whole hour at Woodmans. I was amazed! It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been able to go anywhere alone with him, without him wanting to run wild.

Speaking of Rockford — at least a month ago he overheard me calling directory assistance and saying “Rockford, Illinois.” Sunday, when I told him we were going to Rockford, he immediately perked up and said, “Rockford ‘iNoy!”

What an awesome child.

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I have no idea why our videos always turn out so dark. Ah well! Here are a couple of recent videos of the little dude.

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Yesterday, Seth and Rick put Grayson on the treadmill and held his hands while they turned the speed up faster and faster. With a high incline, he got up to 5 miles per hour! His little feet were like white streaks on the belt.

After just a minute, he looked up at them and said, “Mooooore?”

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Whew! This has been an eventful week in the life of Grayson.

People close to us probably know that Grayson has never slept alone; we have been co-sleeping since shortly after he was born. In the early days, it was really ideal for him and me, as we were breastfeeding constantly it seemed. However, as time went on, and we tried various maneuvers to separate him from our bed at night, we were never able to “make it stick”. The one time we put him in his crib, when he was about 15 months, was disastrous. We lasted 10 days, during which he would spend nearly 12 hours alone in the crib, not crying, but also not sleeping! Frequently we would peek in at him throughout the night, and he would always be sitting upright in the middle of the crib, not even leaning against anything, and occasionally falling asleep for a moment until his head bobbed. It was heartbreaking to see. No matter how much I try to describe it, you really just can’t get how sad and horrible it was until you’d seen it yourself. We lasted 10 days, during which he was a total wreck during the days from almost no sleep, and then he got a high fever and I just wouldn’t continue the process while he was sick. We returned to the old ways: I generally went to bed when he did, even as early as 6:30 or 7pm, and rarely left the bedroom again until morning. It was… not fun and not ideal, but I just wasn’t sure what else to do, and I was unprepared (or unwilling?) to let my child spend the night screaming for me. I am aware that MANY people disagree and think it’s perfectly fine to just let them cry, and I also agree on some levels, but when it comes down to it, my temperament just can’t handle it.

So, Monday night (the day after he turned 2!) we spent the evening getting his big-boy bedroom ready. He quickly started calling it “Grayson’s Room” and seemed to get that it was for him. We put Thomas the Tank Engine removable stickers all over the walls, put up the very awesome Moon in My Room (thanks, Decky & Papa!) We moved all of his books down to the room, and periodically I would tell him about how this was his room, and he was going to sleep here, all of which he seemed to accept.

We did the usual bedtime routine (brush teeth, pj’s, rock + stories, then a song or two) and then I tucked him into his bed and left. Seth had a mattress on the floor so he could stay in the room that night. It was hard, of course, but he cried for a while and then fell asleep around 8:00pm. He woke up at midnight, looked around, and Seth told him it was still time for night-night and to go back to sleep. He did! Then he woke at 2am and was pretty inconsolable. He kept asking for Mama, and Seth finally called me and asked me to come down for a minute. I came down and rocked him, sang “The Moon Song”, and then put him back in bed. Oh, boy. Well, I’ve really already gone into a lot of detail, so I’ll summarize. That first night, Grayson probably got about 8 hours of sleep, while Seth got markedly less, and I only slept for 3 hours. That was mainly because I was so anxious. It really was the best decision to have me involved as little as possible with this process. I am too tender-hearted.

Last night marked Night #3 in his own room, and it was much, much more successful. I do believe we finally made the right steps! He slept most of the night peacefully, with only a few wakings. This time, he seemed to more readily accept that it was still sleeping time, and laid himself back down. Yes! He has been happy and perky and energetic each morning.

One of the biggest changes that has come out of this is how he is handling being left at the sitter’s house. Even though it’s been well over a year, he has still always resisted going and there are always tears, screaming, and clutching for Mama when I leave him with Teresa. I know that he usually settles and goes to play within a couple of minutes, but that doesn’t make it any easier for me to leave him. Every morning I’ve felt a pit of despair in my stomach with the anticipation of leaving him at Teresa’s, and I fantasize about having Seth drop him off instead, or about staying home all the time with him.

Yesterday morning and today, here is how it went: We got into Teresa’s entry room, took off boots, hat, jacket, etc., with no crying, and then Grayson just walked right past me and Teresa and right into the playroom with not a glance back. It was actually sort of hard for me the first time he did that, as I’d grown accustomed to at least a hug before leaving, but what a feeling! To know that I’m leaving him with confidence, that he will happily play and socialize with other children in a safe environment while I’m gone, and that he won’t be missing me as much, is such a blessing. I hope it will help us to have an even better time together in the evenings. In Grayson’s words, “Grayson did it!”

Whew. I’m wordy. Wordy McWord.

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Scattered, because that’s what our lives are like now:

For many months, Grayson has asked for kisses on whatever part of his body has been hurt. He’ll bonk his head against something (of course, intentionally) and then immediately say, “Head ouchie. Kiss?” In the last couple of weeks, we have upgraded (downgraded?) to Grayson simply approaching me out of the blue with hand or knee extended, saying, “Kiss it? Kiss it!” The other day would have been a fine photo opp, while I knelt down to kiss his hand that he oh-so-royally extended for me to bestow my lips upon.

Maybe I need to lay off the coffee. I know my words and commas are getting out of hand.

Right before Christmas, Grayson got his first burn. It was a traumatic experience for all of us, and at one point he and I were both crying — he from the pain, and me from being so mad at myself for letting him get hurt. It wasn’t a severe burn, but he did end up with several blisters on his fingers. We have ALWAYS told him about things being hot, and not touching them, but since his burn experience he has been extremely cognizant of hot things. For a couple weeks, he wouldn’t even eat food that was past lukewarm, saying it was too hot. If I’m standing at the stove cooking, he will haltingly approach, then stop about 5 feet back and say, “HOT! Ouchie! NO!” Poor kid, but good lesson.

He now calls Becky by her name, though sometimes he throws in a “nana” beforehand, but usually it’s just “Becky”. Somewhat of an improvement over “Decky”, which is what he called her for many months. Rick is “Papa”, while Seth is finally “Daddy” (it took a lot of work, because he used to call Seth by name too), and I’m “Mama”. My Mom & Dad are “Nana-Ooey” - almost sounds like Nana Oui (supposed to be Nana Louie) and “Papa Gay”. He loves to say Judo, and finally says “milk” instead of “olk”. His verbal skills have grown tremendously in the last couple of months, and it would be impossible at this point to compile a list of his vocabulary. He often repeats the last couple of words that I say to him, and will willingly repeat almost anything we ask him to (except, maddeningly, “Love you” and “Thank you”).

In November I put some Thomas the Tank Engine & Percy window clings up on the backseat window of my car. He usually just refers to anything even remotely resembling a train as “choo-choo”, but yesterday we got in the car and he promptly said, “Percy! Eyes, Mouth, Nose, Eyebrows.” It was so cool — I’m not sure how he suddenly realized which one Percy was. I’m still at the point where they all look alike to me.

Rascally behavior: During mealtime or at the grocery store, he takes great delight in suddenly standing up, then shouting, “Sit down, please!” It’s so funny that it is difficult for me to be serious with him and get him to sit down.

A couple of nights ago, he woke up in the middle of the night and asked for his monkey. (He’s pretty attached to this monkey, and often spends an entire day with the monkey velcroed around his neck.) He was pretty agitated, so I took the path of least resistance (so I thought!!) and wearily retrieved the monkey for him. He started crying, “Back! Monkey back!” and then even stood up, walked to the end of the bed, and mightily threw the monkey to the floor. IMMEDIATELY, he began screaming as loud as he could, in desperation: “MONKEY! MONKEY!” Realizing that I was in a no-win situation, I laid back down and waited for the storm to pass. We are definitely in the terrible (and joyful, too) twos.

We enrolled in a parents & toddlers tumbling class for toddlers 18-36 months, and attended the first class last saturday. It was… a tiny disaster. I had anticipated that Grayson would *love* it, since he is so active and loves to climb, jump, run, etc. Well, we had our first challenge when we had to take off our shoes. Grayson has, you could say, a love of outerwear. He would wear his winter coat, gloves, hat, and boots all day if we would let him. I think it’s more of a control issue for him; he associates removal of these items with Mama abandoning him at the sitter’s house. So we got over the first hump of removing boots & jacket, then all the moms & kids gathered together on the mats. He was just totally freaked by the whole thing, and spent the entire class clinging to my hand and making a half-whine/half-crying sound. I felt so sorry for him, but I also didn’t want to totally coddle him, so I tried to walk the line. It was very discouraging, as we watched all the other kids whizzing by, but it also reinforces my suspicion that we all need a bit more socialization. It’s also one of the first times we’ve ever been in a situation like that, except for the occasional story hour at the library. So, we’ll try again next Saturday, with the hope that he’ll at least settle into it by the time we reach the last session, 5 weeks from now. Fingers crossed!

Last, because I need to get some stuff done now, we’re pretty sure that Grayson is either growing a food baby, or he’s getting ready for a major growth spurt. He seems to be consistently eating approximately as much as we are in any given day. “More eat! More eat!” seems to be all we ever hear anymore. When he goes to bed, his belly is huge and tight like he’s about 8 months pregnant, and as soon as he wakes up in the morning he’s totally famished again. This kid will eat almost anything. He loves peas, broccoli, yogurt, most fruit, especially dates, bananas, pears, carrots, and really just eats really well.

Gotta go… we have our 2 year checkup on Monday. Hopefully the Dr. won’t tell us that he needs to eat more!

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This large toolbox is FULL of legos, and Grayson (almost 2 now!) has been carrying it all over the house, making the funniest grunting noises along the way.

from www.vimeo.com posted with vodpod

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